(00:04)
Hi, I'm Melanie and I am the writer of Reluctant Slut, AKA to All the Boys I've Ever Boffed. I've been writing this newsletter/podcast/blog for about, I don't know, more than a few months, I suppose, about my experiences being in an open relationship - an open marriage actually - for the past 18 ish years, and just what it's like to be in an open relationship, a long-term polyamorous experience, especially for somebody from my generation. It's a lot more common now with folks from younger generations, but there's still a lot of stigma that remains, especially for folks in my generation. I was dealing a little bit with that this week. I was sort of struggling to articulate this piece, so I decided, you know what? Forget it. I'm just going to write something stupid this time and funny, and I'll flesh out the idea from my top penises of 2023 posts that I made this week or last week.
(01:04)
It came out with the Spotify wrapped logo and information. So yeah, Top Penises of 2023. And then I was thinking about my finances and how I need to get some freelance work, and I set up a client meeting this week. My clients are mostly in education, equity research, because that's largely where I've spent my career. Education equity research is a mixed group. A lot of my clients are academics, or they're the head of a district, or the head of research at some kind of think tank. There's all different kinds of folks, and they're a mixed group in terms of what their culture is and the types of beliefs that they have.
(01:51)
A lot of people in education are conservative, and while I don't think this particular client is conservative, it just sort of sent me into a difficult place. I couldn't come to terms with the cognitive dissonance of writing about penises and having a client meeting in the same day. It just didn't feel safe. I started to sort of fear what happens if my potential clients look me up, as many people do when they're hiring someone, and they find that I'm talking about cum and weed on the internet, and it's scary because as much as I want to be open and talk about this, it's been really valuable for me, and I know at least a few people who have been paying attention…
(02:34)
It's scary. It's scary sometimes. It's scary because ultimately I still need to make money, and until I make money writing or performing, which is probably going to be a long time, I need to do this research. And it's important and it's good work and I like doing it. But unfortunately, the reality in our culture is that when you are a woman and you talk about your sexuality, it's hard for people to see you in any other way. And I think that that's decreasing over time, of course, but it's still a challenge. So that's where I'm at this week, and that's why I haven't been able to put anything in writing out because I've been sort of hung up on these issues and afraid to kind of take the next step. So I thought if nothing else, I could share it and share that kind of thought process and hope that that resonates with some different people, and maybe some other people who are out there trying to write about these things, or just be a complex sexual woman and have another aspect of your life as well.
So yeah, let me know what you think about the Substack video. I can try to do more of these if they're intriguing to folks, maybe even have some interviews or some fun things like that. The edible definitely has hit me now, so I should probably go Thank you for listening, and I'll see you next time. Who knows? It's been a sunny day. Tomorrow's my birthday. Maybe I'll post some penis stuff on the internet. We'll see.
